It was in me all that time...

Secret passionate living
of childhood memories
merely forgotten
in my own paradise
of fortune
and happiness
that was never really spoken of...
never

Just scared and utter
puzzled
by the innerside
of this lie
lying ahead
of myself

Stranded opinions
curling around me
like a snake
This feeling
I´ve never forget.
really forget.

Just in time
you will go
back to you stereotype
without any harsh thought
of nonsense
any
totally any
non -sense

I am that provoker
you´ve never assumed to
be with

And I always will be...

always will be

Just for a moment
of myself
I should have believe
I will believe
in everything
I always wanted...
always wanted
wanted is that
what never have laid
on me
in none of my huge number
of lifes

Girls like me,
will be never understand
for any purpose
of its own

any purpose
I should have laughed
but I don´t

I do not

On the contrary of it
I will do some sort
of what I will have to
do anyway...

anyway..

Just this sense is my fortune?
What fortune is fortune in his real sense?

Me, neither. There´s no such thing for me.

None.

Never was like they
I was still like
sort of Jane Austen´s heroine...
But her fate is also mine
never to belong to anyone...

But once it must have come...
I am still waiting since I was in a proper name of Jane...

in the name of Jane.